ed3000 出品
哦 不！ Oh, no!
露西 不用怕 我开得并不快 Ruthie, you're fine. I'm not even driving that fast.
生日快乐 小贱人！今天是她生日！ It's your birthday, bitch! It's her birthday!
你现在成年了 你的屁股都合法了 You're legal now. Now you got legal butt cheeks.
天啊 罗 你不能说这种话 Oh, my God. You can't say shit like that, Ro.
好吧 我们得停在这让你去追女孩了 Oh, now we gotta stop here so you can get with some,
-随便哪个女孩都行呗 -是啊 -like, random girl, but whatever. - Yeah.
她不是随便的女孩 She's not some random girl.
我们从八年级就开始暧昧了 We've been, like, flirting with each other since fucking grade eight.
我至少得表白一次再走 I gotta at least shoot my shot before I leave.
要是成功了 你就把镇上的女孩都泡遍了 Hmm, if this works, you've officially gotten every girl in town.
-所有女孩都追过 -没错 -Every single girl. - That's true.
不是那样的 不是真的 That's not true. That's not true.
天哪！真抱歉 - Oh, shit! I'm-I'm so sorry.
操 对不起 - Holy shit. -I'm so sorry.
你没事吧？我脖子还在吗？ - Are you okay? - Is my neck still there?
没事的 你没事 没事 No, you're good, you're good, you're good.
我会坦白告诉她 我三周后就走 I'm gonna be honest and I'm gonna tell her I'm leaving in three weeks.
要是发生点什么... If that leads to us banging...
那就是天意 ...that must have been God's plan.
这不是我能控制的 懂吗？ That's out of my hands, you know what I mean?
慢点 你得慢点 - Oh! -You gotta slow down. You gotta slow down.
老兄 Bro.
抱歉 我习惯了开船 I'm sorry, I'm like, I'm so used to driving boats
船是这样开的 不是这样转手腕的 that drive like this, not this twisty wrist shit.
你该去考个船驾照了 Maybe you should actually, like, get your boating license.
露西 我八岁就会开重型机械了 I've been operating heavy machinery since I was eight, Ruthie.
你确定...天啊！ - Are you sure... Oh! -Oh, shit, sorry.
你知道... - You know... -
是个好主意 帮忙拉进来 -...it's an idea. - Help me pull it in. Pull it in.
船驾照根本不是真东西 I don't think boating licenses are, like, a real thing.
就是走个形式 It's like a formality.
你们拉住了吗？好 - You guys got it? Okay. - Yeah.
拉住那边的绳子 Okay, grab that rope at the end.
天呐 Oh, my gosh.
刚才简直命悬一线 Life and fucking death experience right there.
老天爷 -Christ. - Okay.
到了 该上了 -Made it. - It's go time.
你还活着 去吧 You're alive. You got this.
祝你玩得开心 - Have fun in there. - Thank you.
注意安全 小子 记得戴套 You be safe, kid. Wrap it up.
天 我背痛死了 - Oh, bitch, my back is thrown. -Oh, my God.
是啊 我的脖子也是 I know. Like, my neck.
他们就是医学奇迹 对吧 They're, like, they're a medical marvel, right?
是啊 帮我们治尿路感染 -That's true. -They, like, cure our UTIs.
确实如此 我们需要他们 -That is true. -Right? We need them.
不用谢 他们为我们战斗 我们也该为他们战斗 -Yeah, you're welcome. -They fight for us, we should fight for them.
那么... So...
你说你很快就要离开镇子了 对吧？ You said you're leaving town really soon, right?
还有二十二天 搞什么！就这么决定了？ -Twenty-two days. -Okay, shit! It's like that?
非要倒计时吗？这么迫不及待？ You have to do a countdown? You're just so in a rush?
对啊 我是说... Oh, yeah. I mean...
这地方有样东西我真会想念 There is one thing I'll really miss about this place.
她的头发开始化了 Her hair is starting to melt.
这会毁了这个惊喜 It's going to ruin the surprise.
看着像只绵羊 That looks like a sheep.
我弄了一个小时 Took me an hour.
她马上就来 She'll be here soon.
听我说 No, so listen:
我有个叔叔 是我阿姨嫁的那个 I had a uncle, 'cause my aunt married this guy
后来他们离婚了 但他养了只豚鼠 but then they got divorced, but he had a guinea pig.
他在宠物店买的 The PetSmart that he bought it from,
他...她有个孩子 给了我这些药 he had-- she had a kid, and the kid gave me the drugs.
就是个陌生人咯 Uh, so, a literal stranger.
不是 我刚说了... No, I just told you...
不 听着 他说这很稀有 No, listen, he said that they're super rare
从南美来的 and that they're from South America.
非洲 Africa.
直接嚼着吃？ Do you just chew them?
我查一下 I'll-I'll look it up.
对 对 这是南美的？ Yeah, yeah. These South America?
致幻剂怎么拼？ How do you spell "hallucinogenic"?
那是非洲的 That's Africa.
不知道 搜蘑菇吧 I-I don't know. "Mushrooms."
我觉得你可以直接嚼 或者 Um, I think you, like, chew them or, like, maybe,
我听说可以泡茶喝 I heard you can make, like, some type of herbal tea with them or some shit.
终于来了！ -Finally! -
不 我们不泡茶 No, we're not making tea with them.
泡茶会控制不了嗨的程度 I heard if you make tea with them, you can't control how high you get.
瞧瞧你 -Look at you. -
你在干嘛？ - What were you doing? -
现在不行 妈！凯西 我们很忙！ -Not now, Mom! -Kathy, we're very busy, huh!
我在嗑药呢 妈！ - I'm trying to do drugs, Mom! -
我...好吧 哇 哇 哇 -I-I... Okay, wow, wow, wow. Okay. - Oh. Oh.
你开车开成这样 I mean, if you're driving like that.
听着 在开始前 要不要先定个应急预案 Look, before we get too far into it, should we make, like, an emergency plan
以防出什么事 in case, in case anything bad happens?
不！不会出事的 No! Nothing bad is gonna happen.
这就是蘑菇的意义所在 That's, like, the whole point of shrooms.
吃蘑菇从来不会出事 Nothing bad happens on shrooms.
万一有人嗨过头说了什么混账话 What if one of us, like, gets too high and, like, says something fucked-up
永远改变了我们的友情怎么办 and it, like, changes the fabric of our friendship forever?
十个！两个半 - Um, ten! - Two point five.
别吃整袋 太多了 No, not the whole bag. That-that's way too many.
所以你得增肥 That's why you gotta get your weight up.
敬艾利特 To Elliott.
你这老混蛋！ -You old bitch! -
愿你今晚体验到 我不知道 May you experience a fucking, I don't know, like,
什么新的意识层面 a new level of consciousness or some shit tonight.
嗯 Mm.
罗 罗 - Ro. -Ro.
天啊 你打嗝了 Oh, my God. -You're burping.
天啊 我还以为我们要… -Oh, my God! - I thought we were...
你们不想赶快到那吗 太… -Don't you guys want to get there? -That's so...
想 但是… 好 一二三 -Yes, but... -All right, one, two, three.
来吧 来吧 -Let's go, let's go. -Mm.
干 干 干 我做不到 -Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug. -I can't do it.
一口干 一口干 太难喝了 -Chug it, chug it, chug it, chug it, chug it, chug it, chug it, chug it. - It's so bad!
一口干 一口干 Chug it, chug it, chug it, chug it, chug it.
我有点害怕 Oh, I'm scared.
你害怕吗 不 其实我有点… - Like, are you? - No, actually, I'm a little--
我也有点害怕 -I'm a little scared, too. -
我反而不怕 I'm weirdly not.
啊 - Oh! -
那是什么鬼声音 呃… -What the fuck was that? - Um...
好吧 呃… 我得给妈妈打电话 这里有熊 -Okay, um... -I feel like I need to call my mom. -There are bears here.
安静 闭嘴 我妈妈说过 -Let-let... Shh. Shut up. -My mom told me.
我们聊点正常的事吧 Let's just be normal, guys, and talk about something-something normal.
随便什么事 聊点正常的 -Something... Something. -Let's just talk about something normal.
埃利特 你能说说你的理想和梦想吗 Um, can you, like, talk about your hopes and dreams or something, Elliott, please?
我的理想和梦想？没错 -My hopes and dreams? -Yes.
对 说说理想和梦想 行行行 - Fucking yes. Hopes and dreams. -Word, word.
我有理想和梦想 好吧 嗯哼 -I've got hopes and dreams. Okay. - Mm-hmm.
嗯… Well...
我…我很兴奋 因为我的人生终于要开始了 I-I'm... I'm just excited that my life is, like, finally about to start.
呃…我不知道 尽管这个世界 Um... I don't know. Even though the world is, like,
正在燃烧 充满无知的种族主义者 literally on fire and... full of uneducated racists,
但我还是在努力保持希望 I'm just, like, trying to force myself to have hope.
搬去多伦多 住在城市里 And I just feel like moving to Toronto and, like, living in the city
去上学 一切都感觉很对 and going to school, like, it all just feels right, you know?
虽然我非常尊重我的祖先 Ugh, like, mad respect to my ancestors,
但我不想成为第三代… but I do not want to be a third-generation--
我不能成为第三代蔓越莓农 I can't be a third-generation cranberry farmer and, like,
住在只有300人的小镇 live in a town with 300 people.
每次这么说我都很愧疚 但是 And I always feel bad every time I say that, but it's, like,
我充满活力 充满热情 -I've got energy, I've got hype. -
这个世界…世界就是我们的囊中之物 Like, the world... the world is literally our fucking oyster.
我们得好好活着 懂吗 Like, we've got to live. You know what I mean?
是啊 Yeah.
我的天… Holy shi...
天啊 -Oh, my God. -
你在嗨吗 你们都在嗨吗 Are you tripping? Are you guys tripping?
我不知道 I don't know.
我想摇摆 我想摇摆 I feel like grooving, man. I feel like grooving.
搞什么 露…露西 What the fuck? Ru... Ruthie?
天啊 嗷嗷 - Oh, my God. - Ooh, ooh, ooh.
罗 Ro!
嗷嗷嗷嗷 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
他们想摇摆 天哪 喔 -They feel like grooving, man. Wow. - Whoo!
喔 Whoo.
我什么感觉都没有 I don't feel anything.
你知道 因为你对药物耐受差 什么鬼 -You know, it's 'cause you don't tolerate drugs well. -What the fuck?!
嘿 怪胎 你是谁 -Hey, freak. -Who are you?
天啊 Oh, my God!
这是莫德岛 This is Maude Island.
天啊 我以前超爱这里 My God, I used to love this place.
可惜被某个混蛋富豪全买下了 Damn, it's a shame some dickhead rich guy bought it all up.
太糟了 That sucks.
哦 对对对对对 Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
对 太对了 Oh, yes. Oh, yes.
天啊 我好想念化学品 嗯 Oh, my God, I miss chemicals. Mmm.
你他妈…是谁 Who the fuck... are you?
你从哪来的 Where did you come from?
你说啊 是你吃了蘑菇把我召唤来的 You tell me. You're the one that took a bunch of mushrooms and summoned me here.
你是我爸派来的吗 Do you work for my dad?
他派你来监视我 Did he send you here to spy on me?
这太像他的作风了 That is so something he would do.
有趣 但不是 That's funny. But no.
上帝？ God?
不知道该怎么说 I don't know how to say this.
对 Yes.
埃利特 拜托 -Elliott, come on. -
老兄 我就是你 Dude, I'm you.
我是…39岁的你 Well, I'm... I'm 39-year-old you.
什么 怎么了 -What? -What's up?
什么鬼…你在说什么 What the f... What are you talking about?
你是我 去你的 什么 You're me? Fuck off. What?
你去你的 你的牙齿 -You fuck off. -Your teeth.
那不是我的牙齿 怎么了 我的牙齿怎么了 -Those aren't my teeth. -So? What about my teeth? What?
你牙齿有缝 我牙齿没缝 There's a fucking gap in your teeth. I don't have a gap in my teeth.
是啊 去你的 戴好你的牙套 Yeah, dude, fuck you. Wear your retainer.
还有你的头发 又干又黑 And your hair. It's so dry and it's dark.
慢着 你还有刘海 -Take it easy. -You have bangs.
我没有刘海 我也不打算 I don't have bangs, I have no plan
留刘海 冷静点 贱人 首先… -on getting bangs. -Take it easy, bitch. First of all...
你的胸还下垂 我的胸才不下垂 And your boobs are saggy. My boobs aren't saggy.
你根本看不到我的胸 Okay, you can't even see my boobs.
我看不出来 天啊 -I don't see it. -Oh, my God.
忘了我以前有多迟钝 Forgot how fucking dense I was.
让我给你看点东西 Let me show you something.
呃…这个… Um, this...
对吧 九岁时 Right? Nine years old.
从拖拉机上摔到坏栅栏上 Falling off that tractor onto the broken fence.
疼死了 Hurt like hell.
左胸比右胸小一号 Left boob-- one cup smaller than the right.
而且不 And, uh, no.
它永远也长不到右边那么大 但说实话 It never catches up to the right, but, honestly,
你会习惯的 没关系 you get used to it and it's okay.
男人看不出来 女人能看出来 但是… Guys can't really tell. Girls can, but...
好 还有 呃 好 Okay, more. Um, okay.
好 Okay.
哒哒 -Ta-da! -
我们丢失的小拇指 It's our missing pinkie toe.
记得吗 Remember?
露西第二次婚礼上的龙舌兰事故 From the tequila accident at Ruthie's second wedding?
哦操 这还没发生 Oh, fuck! That has not happened yet.
糟了 我不该说的 Shit, I shouldn't have said that.
说实话 我有点想念我的脚趾 让我看看 Actually, I kind of miss my toe. Can I see it?
我的天 Holy shit.
好吧 我嗨了 Okay. I'm high.
是啊 太棒了 -Yeah. -Nice!
-好了 我感觉到了 - -Okay. I'm feeling it. -
蘑菇开始起效了 I'm having a reaction to the shrooms.
确实在起效 我...我开始产生幻觉了 They are working. I'm... I'm hallucinating.
作为中年人我看起来还挺有魅力 I'm actually kind of hot for being middle-aged.
去你的 Okay, fuck you.
我才39岁 这不算中年 I'm 39 years old. That's not middle-aged.
-这就是中年 -不是 -No, that is middle-aged. -No, it's not.
我还是个年轻人 I am a very young adult.
-真的？ -对 -Really? -Yes.
-有点辣妈的感觉 -噢 现在没人说"辣妈"了 -I'm kind of getting MILFy vibes. -Ooh, nobody says "MILF" anymore.
听着就觉得尴尬 I'm kind of gagging over it.
也没人说"觉得尴尬"了 Nobody says "gagging over it" either, so...
等等 天啊 好吧 Wait, oh, my God. Okay.
全都告诉我 我们住在哪？有孩子吗？ Tell me everything. Where do we live? Do we have kids?
我们是不是特别幸福快乐？ Are we, like, so happy and fulfilled?
天啊 是啊 真是 Oh, my God, that is, yeah, wow.
我都忘了那时一切都显得那么简单 I forgot how simple everything seemed.
等等 听起来很悲观 你死了吗？我死了吗？ Wait, that sounds dark. Do you die? Am I dead?
是不是地球烧毁了 爆炸了 我们都窒息 Does the planet just burn up and, like, explode and we all just suffocate
-死了？ -天啊 冷静点 -and die? -Oh, my God. Chill out.
-不会 -我们都活着 活着呢 -No, is there... -Like, no, we're alive, we're alive.
这要变成坏的幻觉了 感觉要变糟了 This is turning into a bad trip. I feel this is turning into a bad trip.
我想开心一点 And I'm trying to have a good time,
但你让我快恐慌发作了 but you're giving me a fucking panic attack.
-好了 冷静 -告诉我点好消息 -Okay, no, chill. -Just tell me something good.
好消息 嗯... Um, something good. Um...
为什么你找好消息这么难？ Why are you struggling to find something good from the future?
有个好消息 Ooh. This is good.
-好 -你肯定会很兴奋 -Okay. -You're going to be fucking psyched
-说吧 - -to know... -Okay, tell me.
你是个博士生 that you are a PhD student.
太棒了 Fuck yeah.
不 什么？你在开玩笑吧 No. What? You're joking.
但我不想说是什么专业 But I don't want to tell you in what
这样你还能有期待 because I want you to have something to look forward to.
-有期待？ -对 -Look forward to? -Yeah.
你是说我四十多岁还在上学？ Did you just tell me I'm in my 40s and I'm still in school?
三十多！三十多！ Thirties! Thirties!
搞什么鬼 Dude, what the fuck?
你真以为四十岁之前 Did you honestly think that you were going to be married
就能结婚生子还能找到理想工作？ and have multiple kids and your dream job by the time you were 40?
噢 你还真这么想啊 好吧 Oh, you did. Okay.
等等 Wait.
我有个绝妙的主意 I just got the best idea.
你告诉我下一个苹果公司是谁 You tell me who the next Apple is,
我现在就投资 我们就能暴富了 I'll invest now, and we can get insanely rich.
-这主意不太好 -为什么？ -Okay, I don't think that's a good idea. -Why?
因为我不知道这玩意怎么运作 Because I don't know how this shit works.
我不想 就是 招来什么恶报 或者别的 I don't want to, like, fucking get bad karma, or, like, I don't know.
一件事发生了 其他事也会发生 我不知道 One thing happens and then the other shit happens and, like, I don't know.
如果你不能给我一些靠谱建议 What is the point of this conversation if you can't give me some, like,
让我改善我们的生活 这聊天有什么意义 solid advice and then I can just make our life better?
这不是解决方法 我不觉得这是... All right, that's not, like, the fix. I don't, I don't think that's, like, the--
你是说这至少不能解决你现在的一些问题吗 You're telling me that wouldn't fix at least a couple of your problems,
-你目前的问题？ -我只是 我不认为... -your current problems? -I just, I don't think I--
还是说我们的生活 Or is our life just so...
完美无缺 你不想改变任何事？ flawless and perfect, you don't want to change anything?
能远离叫查德的人吗？ Can you avoid anyone named Chad?
什么？ What?
查德是谁？ Who the fuck is Chad?
你有一次机会告诉年轻的自己 You have one chance to tell your younger self
你人生最大的遗憾 your biggest life regrets,
你却让我远离一个叫查德的人？ and you ask me to avoid someone named Chad?
-你嗨了吧？ -没有 -Yeah. -Are you high?
-听我的就是了 - No.
这太诡异了 -Just do it. -
真是疯了 This is the weirdest fucking thing.
天啊 Oh, my God.
你为什么不接？ Why didn't you answer?
我可不能嗨着跟妈妈视频 I'm not FaceTiming Mom when I'm high.
我知道妈妈有时烦人 但对她好点 Dude, I know Mom can be annoying, but, like, be nice to her.
我对妈妈可好了！ I'm so nice to Mom!
昨天我让她给我讲蜂鸟整整讲了45分钟 I literally let her talk to me yesterday about a hummingbird for 45 minutes.
-挺可爱的 -很烦人 -That's cute. -It was annoying.
说真的 你该多陪陪她 Honestly, you should hang out with her.
多陪陪她 和她一起做点什么 Like, hang out with her. Do stuff with her.
天啊 我知道你像谁了！妈妈！ Oh, my God. That's who you look like! Mom!
你长得像妈妈 That's who you look like.
你简直就是妈妈的翻版 天啊 You look exactly like Mom. What the fuck?
-我知道 我知道 -你经常听人这么说吗？ -I know. I know. -Do you get that?
对 经常 大家都这么说 Yes. All the time. Everybody says that.
-不会吧 -所有人 -No. -Everybody.
天啊 太疯狂了 每个人最后都变成她妈 Holy shit. That's crazy. Everyone just turns into their mothers.
差不多吧 Yeah, basically.
老实说 我以前觉得这不好 但现在觉得挺好 Honestly, I thought it was a bad thing, but I kind of like it now.
-妈妈很棒 -是啊 挺好 -Mom's cool. -It works. It works.
-妈妈很棒 -挺好的 -Mom's cool. -It works.
我们抱抱吧？ Can we hug?
-过来 - -Get in here. -
-好奇怪 -嗯 -This is so weird. -Mm-hmm.
我以为四十岁会更快乐 I thought I'd be happier at 40.
你很快乐 而且我还没到四十 混蛋 You are happy, and I'm not 40, asshole.
你看起来不快乐 You don't look happy.
我感觉... I feel like...
你在经历中年危机 you're having a midlife crisis.
拜托 你现在嗨着呢 什么都不懂 Well, I feel like you're high on mushrooms so you don't know shit.
说得对 True.
我有个主意 I have an idea.
-我们接吻吧 -不行 -Can we kiss? -No.
-为什么不行？ -为什么要亲？ -What? Why? -Why?
就亲一下 又不是...那种意思 It's just a kiss. It's not, like... sexual.
-接吻本来就带性意味 -才不是 -A kiss is innately sexual. -No, it's not.
为什么你想亲自己？ Why do you want to kiss yourself?
你不想知道亲自己什么感觉吗？ You don't want to know what it's like to kiss yourself?
我是想 但你比较年轻 这很怪 I mean, yes, I do, but it's like you're younger so it's weird.
那我能不能摸摸我老年的屁股 Okay, can I at least touch my old ass?
天啊 你该被关起来 Oh, my God. You need to be locked up.
-就蹭一下 我不会... -行吧 摸吧 -Just a quickie. I'm not gonna, like... -Fine, do it.
-我不会伸舌头 -行 亲吧 我不在乎 -I'm not gonna, like, shove tongue in your mouth. -Fine, kiss me, I don't care.
-真的？ -随你便 -Really? -Fine.
-天啊 -怎么了？ -Oh, my God. -What?
我就想知道亲自己什么感觉 I just wanted to know what it was like to kiss myself.
-好了 现在你知道了 -我太喜欢了 -Okay. Well, now you know. -I loved it.
-现在你知道了 -哇哦 -Now you know. -Wow.
太性感了 你知道的 That was fucking hot, and you know it.
我能再说最后一句吗？ Okay, can I say one last thing?
天啊 Oh, God.
你已经说了我将来会成为成人学生 I mean, you already told me I'm a mature student in the future,
所以情况不会更糟了 so it literally can't get any worse.
我是认真的 No, I'm serious.
你真的很幸运 You are so lucky.
生活再也不会像现在这样了 Life will never be the same as it is right now.
太好了 Great.
你会去城里 一切都会变得 You're gonna go to the city and everything's gonna be
令人兴奋又忙碌… exciting and busy and...
今年感恩节你都没回家 You don't even go home for Thanksgiving this year.
你留在城里 You stay in the city.
你该回家的 You should go home.
时间是唯一无法挽回的东西 The only thing you can't get back is time.
等你长大了 时间过得飞快 When you get older, it goes by so fast, dude.
太快了 糟透了 So fast. It sucks.
艾利特 Elliott.
-天啊 -嗯？什么？ -Oh, my God. -Mm. What?
你的手机呢？ Where's your phone?
手机 Phone.
奶子 Titties.
奶子？ Titties?
你这怪人 You weirdo.
然后兔子唱歌 声音像席琳·迪翁 And then the bunny sang and it sounded like Celine Dion.
美妙绝伦 Like, so beautiful and good.
接着 成百上千只小兔子从森林里跑出来 And then, like, hundreds of smaller bunnies all came out of the woods.
不过它们说的是普通话 They spoke Mandarin, though, so, like,
我不知道歌词什么意思 但感觉很美 I'm not sure what the lyrics meant, but they felt beautiful.
真羡慕你们的幻境这么棒 I'm so jealous you guys had good trips.
遇见未来的自己 听起来太酷了 Nah, I mean, meeting your older self sounds lit as fuck.
艾利特 你好像对药物不太耐受 I feel like you don't tolerate drugs well, Elliott.
哦 没想到你在这 - Oh! I didn't know you were here. -
对 我刚回来 Yeah, I got back a little bit ago.
我试着打过电话 I tried to call.
我们给你准备了蛋糕 We had a cake for you.
-不会吧 -真的 -No. -Yes.
妈 你们真的准备了蛋糕？ Mom, you guys had a cake?
对 Yeah.
-抱歉 我- -没事的 -I'm sorry. I-No, it's okay.
我以为我说过要和罗一起早点走的 I thought I told you I was leaving early with Ro.
哦 可能你说过 我大概忘了 Oh. Well, maybe you did. You know, I probably forgot.
抱歉 I'm sorry.
不用道歉 No, don't be sorry.
玩得开心吗？ Did you have fun?
嗯 Yeah.
昨晚太冷了 You know, it was so cold last night.
我担心你被子够不够 I was wondering if you had enough blankets.
够的 我们没事 Yeah, we were, we were fine.
还好没下雨 Yeah? Well, at least it didn't rain.
我看了天气预报 You know, I was looking at the radar,
说早上七点有15%的降雨概率 and it said there was 15% chance of rain at 7:00,
不过雨云向东移动了 but, you know, then it went east.
嗯 我们没事 Yeah, we were good.
好吧 Okay, uh...
那我不打扰你了 I'll leave you to it.
我从没在船上亲热过 Mm, I've never hooked up on a boat before.
你们在干什么？ What are you guys doing?
斯宾塞！ Spencer!
大清早你在这干什么？ What are you doing down here at the ass crack of dawn?
已经十一点了 It's 11:00.
十一点了？ 该死！ It's 11:00? Shit!
我来了！我来了！ I'm here! I'm here!
抱歉我迟到了 I'm sorry I'm late.
差点放弃等你了 孩子 Almost gave up on you, kiddo.
哇！ Whoa!
什么鬼？！ What the fuck?!
-抱歉 没想吓到你 -什么鬼？ -Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. -What the fuck?
你在这多久了？ 我在这大概五分钟了 How long have you been here for? I've been here for, like, five minutes.
那就五分钟吧 About five minutes, then.
你在下面待那么久干什么？ What were you doing down there for so long?
太奇怪了 That's some weird shit.
我就是在游泳 没干什么奇怪的事 I was just swimming around. I wasn't doing any weird stuff.
听着 我没穿衣服 别过来 Okay, well, fuck, I'm naked, so don't come over here.
也别潜下去睁眼看之类的 Or, like, don't go under and open your eyes or some shit.
好 Okay.
天啊 Oh, my God.
我只是想告诉你… Just so you know...
下面能见度为零 there's, like... zero visibility down there.
我连一个三明治长度的距离都看不见 所以… Like, I couldn't even see, like, a Subway sandwich length in front of me, so...
你放心 You're okay.
好 好吧 Okay. All right.
第一天太有意思了 I had such a fun first day.
我学到了很多关于蔓越莓的知识 I learned so much stuff about cranberries.
你知道蔓越莓有四个气囊吗？ Did you know that a cranberry has four pockets of air?
等等 华盛顿 你在这工作？ Wait, wait, wait. You work here, Washington?
是啊 Yeah, boy.
汤姆真的很酷 Tom is actually such a cool guy.
你有个这么棒的父亲真好 You're lucky he's your dad.
你怎么知道他是我爸爸？ How did you know he's my dad?
因为你们长得一模一样 'Cause you got the exact same face.
只不过你是女生版本 Except you're the girl version.
-真酷 -脸颊都一样 -Sick. -Same cheeks.
谢谢 我很喜欢听这个 真贴心 Thanks. I love hearing that. It's really nice.
你真名叫什么？ What's your real name?
查德 Chad.
什么？你刚说什么？ What? What did you just say?
我说我叫查德 -I said my name's Chad. -
是缩写吗？查德威克？钱德勒？ Is that short for anything? Chadwick? Chandler?
查尔斯？查德·迈克尔·默里？ Uh, Charles, Chad Michael Murray?
不是 就叫查德 好吧 -Nope. It's just Chad. -No? Okay.
天啊 我得走了 快转过去 Oh, my God. I gotta go! I gotta go! Turn around.
对不起 闭上眼睛 天啊 -S-Sorry. -Like, close your eyes or something. Jesus.
等等 你叫什么名字 Hey, wait. What's your name?
呃...雷 It's, um... Ray!
雷蒙德·罗马诺 Raymond Romano!
就是那个明星？ Like that guy?
一碗米 这可不太妙 Ooh. A bowl of rice. That's never good.
应该是防水的 至少防潮 They're supposed to be waterproof. Or, well, water-resistant.
谢了 斯宾塞 Cool, yeah, thanks, Spencer.
天啊 居然管用 Holy shit! This worked.
你是谁？到底是谁？ Who is this? Who the fuck is this?
说真的 别惹我 我可不是好惹的 I'm serious, you do not want to fuck with me. I'm not the one.
哇 听起来好凶 埃利奥特 你这怪人 是我啊 Oh, wow, you sound so tough. Elliott, you freak, it's me.
是我 那天晚上我把号码存你手机里了 It's me! I put my number in your phone the other night,
说实话 我真没想到会成功 太疯狂了 but, honestly, I did not know this would work. This is crazy.
等等 你在按我说的去做吗 Wait. So, are-are you following all of my advice
在和家人相处？ and hanging out with the family?
和马克斯打高尔夫了吗？ Oh, have you played golf with Max yet?
你真该去试试 I really think you should.
没 我还没和马克斯打高尔夫 No! No, I haven't played golf with Max yet
因为直到两小时前遇到查德之前 because up until two hours ago when I met Chad,
我还以为你只是我蘑菇幻觉的产物 I thought you were just a figment of my fucked-up mushroom brain.
所以让我缓缓... So give me a fucking second...
天啊 你太夸张了 Oh, my God, you're so dramatic.
...接受我在和老年的自己通话这事 ...to comprehend the fact that I'm on the phone with my old ass.
我觉得挺有趣 I thought that was funny.
我没让你碰它 所以感觉有点过意不去 I didn't let you touch it, so I felt bad.
等等 你现在在农场吗 Wait. So are you, like, at the farm right now?
现在是 哦 6点半了 天啊 It must be-- Oh, it's 6:30. Oh, my gosh.
你们要坐下吃晚饭了 真温馨 You guys are gonna sit down for dinner. That's so sweet.
爸爸做了他的三文鱼吗 Did Dad make his salmon?
我太想念三文鱼了 Ugh, I miss salmon so much.
趁现在还有赶紧多吃点 Eat all of it now while it's still around.
你知道什么很好玩吗 You know what would be so funny?
做个鱼嘴表情 妈妈最爱看了 能逗她笑 Do the fish lip thing that Mom loves. It'll make her laugh.
等等 妈妈去世了吗 -Wait, is Mom dead? -What?
你让我逗妈妈笑 是因为她已经死了吗 Are you telling me to make Mom laugh 'cause she's fucking dead?
不是 不是 No! No, no.
我们只是不能做那个鱼... We just can't do the-the fish...
没 她还活着 冷静点 What? No. She's totally alive. Chill.
谢天谢地 妈妈死之前我必须死 Thank God. I need to die before Mom dies.
你这想法太阴暗了 Dude, that's fucking dark.
我得告诉我的心理医生 I have to tell my therapist you said that.
等等 停一下 Oh, wait a minute. Hang on.
地下室 地下室 Basement! Basement!
听着 我得挂了 待会再打给你 Uh, look, dude, I gotta go. I-I'll call you later.
亲爱的 你还需要什么吗 Sweetheart, do you need anything else?
好 帮我拿一下那个 Here, yeah. Can you pass me that?
真不敢相信这是... I can't believe this is, like...
...真的 ...real.
我知道 我也不敢信 I know. Me either, honestly.
太奇怪了 So weird.
那现在怎么办 Okay, what do we do now?
我不知道 Uh, I don't know.
就听我的建议 让我们的生活变得更好 I guess you take my advice and make our life better?
天啊 压力不小 -Jesus. No pressure. -
但我不想说太多 好吗 But I don't want to tell you too much, okay?
我怕会破坏人生的惊喜 I'm afraid I'll ruin, like, the surprises of life or whatever.
不不不不 没事 我们讨厌惊喜 记得吗 No, no, no, no. It's fine. We hate surprises, remember?
对 我们讨厌惊喜 而且我们也不知道这是怎么回事 Yes, we hate them. Also, we have, like, no idea how this works,
所以最好别告诉别人 so maybe you don't tell anyone about this?
对 我本来就不打算说 Yeah, I was not planning on that.
你也不会告诉我们漂亮的妻子和三个孩子 对吧 And you won't tell our gorgeous wife and three children either, right?
三个孩子？天啊 埃利奥特 Three children? Oh, my God, Elliott.
现在已经不允许生三个孩子了 Nobody's allowed to have three children anymore.
听我说 Look, just listen to me.
别做蠢事 一切都会好的 Don't do anything stupid, and we'll be fine.
会成功的 相信我 也许吧 -It's gonna work. I promise. - Elliott. - I think.
操 操 妈的 - Fuck! Fuck! Shit! - Oh, shit!
哇哦 见鬼 - Whoa-ho! Shit! -
抓住你了 如果我们能活下来 Got you, got you. Okay, and if I don't kill us,
你能告诉我第一次3P是什么时候吗 will you tell me when we have our first threesome?
天啊 我连和一个人做的精力都没有 Oh, my God, dude, I wish I had the energy
更别说两个人了 别闹了 -to have sex with one person, let alone two. - Come on!
去和你兄弟们玩吧 Go hang out with your brothers.
变变变 -Alakazam! -Oh!
你肯定忘了他们有多烦人 I don't think you remember how annoying they are.
你为什么非要来 Why do you even want to come?
因为我很快就要走了 我想和我们联络感情 Because I'm leaving soon, and I want us to bond.
你最近有什么新鲜事吗 Anything new in your life?
没什么 Not really.
我走了你会想我吗 Are you gonna miss me when I'm gone?
不会 No.
说得对 -Fair. -
这根本不可能让我们的生活变好 Dude, there's absolutely no way this is making our life better.
你才玩了一局 再努力试试 Dude, you played one game. Try harder.
嗷 马克斯 Ow! Max!
嗨 Hi.
嗨 需要帮忙吗 -Hi. -Can I help you with anything?
你可以把垃圾扔出去 Uh, you can take out the garbage.
这建议烂透了 This advice literally sucks dick, dude.
闭嘴 你才烂透了 - Shut up. You literally suck dick. -
雷 雷蒙德 Ray! Raymond!
等等 是查德吗 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Is that Chad?
赶紧离开那里 我在跑了 -Yo, get the fuck out of there. - I am.
快跑 我正在跑 - Run! - I literally am.
我不是让你离那家伙远点吗 I told you to stay away from that guy.
我知道 I know.
我能搞定 没问题 I got this. We're-we're good.
你担心过头了 You're stressing over nothing.
我不会搞砸的 I'm not gonna fuck this up.
糟了 Oh, fuck.
怎么了 What's going on?
我看到那些该死的恶蛇了 我发誓 I saw one of those motherfucking evil snakes! I swear to God!
长什么样 是褐色的 -What did it look like? -It was, it was brown and it was, like,
有这么大 它看着我还在笑 this big and it fucking looked right at me and laughed!
我马上回来 I'll be right back.
看 我抓到了 Look, I got him!
抓到它了 I got him.
它反抗得很厉害 但最后 He put up a good fight, but in the end,
我比它更强大 更聪明 更快 I was stronger, smarter and faster than him.
你有病吧 Something is wrong with you.
你的船有多大马力？ How much horsepower does your boat have?
你怎么知道我有船？ How do you know I have a boat?
因为我看到你开船了 Because I saw you driving it.
-好吧 偷窥狂 -我才不是偷窥 -Okay, Peeping Tom. -I wasn't Peeping Tom-ing.
我只是在看海而已 I was just looking out at the open water.
你什么时候带我兜风？ Will you take me for a ride sometime?
不行 No!
不 我不会带你兜风的 No, I'm not going to take you for a ride.
我都不了解你 I barely know you.
搞不好你就是个杀人犯 You could be, and you most likely are, a fucking murderer.
我不是杀人犯 我发誓 I'm not a murderer. I promise.
你 我 你肯定是杀人犯 我就 -You, I-- You are a murderer. I'm, like-
我不会杀你的 I won't murder you.
这总行了吧 How 'bout that?
再说 船现在有点毛病 Plus, it's, like... it's a tiny bit broken right now anyways.
怎么了？ What happened?
不知道 刚才去看 就是发动不起来 I have no idea. I went down earlier and it just didn't start.
我能修 Maybe I can fix?
怎么 你还是个修理工杀手？ What are you, a mechanic murderer now?
不是 No.
但我在父亲的修理店干了很久 But I worked at my dad's mechanic shop my whole life.
哦 Oh.
你有保险吗？ Are you bonded and insured?
让我修船就是了 罗马诺 Just let me fix the damn boat, Romano!
能把钳子递给我吗？ Can you hand me those pliers?
你以后要接管农场吗？ Are you gonna take over the farm one day?
我一点都不想当农民 I have zero... zero desire to be a farmer.
再说我二哥想接手 我就说 "行啊 你来" Plus, my brother wants to do it, so I'm just, like, "Cool, you do it."
我二哥 My middle brother.
我弟弟只想搬去爱尔兰 My younger brother just wants to move to Ireland
娶那个我一直念不对名字的女演员 and marry this famous actress whose name I can never say right.
希尔茜·罗南 对吧？ Saoirse Ronan, right?
你怎么知道？ Why do you know that?
因为我超喜欢她 你看过《小妇人》吗？ Oh, 'cause I love her, man. Have you seen Little Women?
看过 看了一百遍 Yeah. A hundred times.
那如果不当农民 你想做什么？ So, if you weren't a farmer, what would you be doing?
不知道 还没想好 I don't know. Not totally sure yet.
什么意思？ What was that?
我以为既然你不想继承家业 I just thought that if you didn't want to take over your family legacy,
那肯定有什么远大理想 then maybe you'd have some sort of big aspiration.
比如拯救地球或者 当总理什么的 You know, like, saving the planet or... becoming prime minister or something.
我不会说法语 查德 Well, I can't speak French, Chad,
所以当总理的梦想只能搁置了 so my dreams of becoming prime minister have sadly been put to bed.
搞什么鬼？ Like, what the fuck?
我修好你的船了 (IN FRENCH) J'ai réparé votre bateau.
燃油管松了 Le conduit de carburant était laîche.
不用谢 De rien.
我们出去兜兜风吗？ On peut faire un petit tour?
我永远不会和你一起坐船 明白吗？ Okay, I'm never going on a boat ride with you, okay?
你会说法语 You can speak French.
是啊 Yeah, well...
我比看起来聪明 查德 I'm smarter than I look, Chad.
我觉得你看起来就很聪明 I think you look smart.
别这么友好 Stop being so nice!
好吧 Okay!
混蛋 Fucker!
不 No!
你能告诉我 Okay, can you just tell me, like,
这个查德到底是干什么的？ what does this Chad guy do, again?
说真的 他看起来毫无威胁 'Cause, honestly, he seems so harmless.
从没见过这么无害的人 Like, I've never been less threatened by anyone, I don't think.
天啊 出什么事了？ Oh, God. What happened?
-没事 什么都没发生 -说实话 -Nothing. Nothing happened. -Tell me.
他表现得很友好 还修好了船 He was acting all nice and he fixed the boat and--
你让他修船了？不是 You let him fix the boat? No.
他几乎是强迫我让他修的 He basically made me let him.
好吧 Okay?
你记得吗？ Don't you remember that?
记得 Yeah, I do.
他就像 He's like...
他就像是这种奇怪的混合体 He's like this weird mix of being so lovable...
-天啊 -让人觉得可爱得想保护他 -Oh, my God. -...that I just want to protect him,
-又普通得想揍他 -天啊 -and then being so basic I want to punch him... -Oh, my God.
想揍他那张对称的脸 ...in his weirdly symmetrical face.
艾略特 别和他上床 Elliott, do not have sex with him.
老天 我才不会 Jesus! I'm not gonna...
说他的脸对称不代表我要和他上床 I can admit someone's face is symmetrical and not fuck them.
-天啊 -天啊 -God. -God.
喂？ Hello?
别再和查德一起坐船了 No more boat rides with Chad.
答应我 Promise?
伙计 你还好吗？ Dude, are you okay?
你该睡了 很晚了 You should get some sleep. It's late.
你开这个越过野地吗？ Have you ever, like, off-roaded with this thing?
就像怪兽卡车那样？ Just, like, like, monster truck style?
-没有 -我会的 - No. - I would.
抱歉我不像你那么酷 Sorry I'm not cool like you.
嘿 你很酷 Hey, you're cool.
爸妈也让你这么说？ Mom and Dad tell you to say that, too?
什么意思？ What does that mean?
我知道他们让你陪我 I know they asked you to hang out with me.
不然你根本不会和我出现在一起 Otherwise, you'd never be seen with me.
你是白痴 他们没让我陪你 You're an idiot. They didn't ask me to hang out with you.
你真以为我不愿和你一起出现？ Do you actually think I wouldn't want to be seen with you?
我觉得是啊 I mean... yeah.
为什么？ Why?
因为我就是你讨厌的那类人 'Cause I'm everything that annoys you:
我喜欢种地 爱运动 讨厌《亢奋》 I like farming, I play sports, I hate Euphoria.
你上次给我的生日卡上写 On my last birthday card, you wrote, "I'd wish you a happy birthday,
"我想祝你生日快乐 但直男白人已经够快乐了" but cis white men don't need any more happiness."
那是开玩笑 That was a joke.
就是啊！ It was!
好吧 抱歉 我应该写 Okay, sorry. I should have written,
"二元性别正在杀死我们所有人 希望你能活到地球毁灭" "The gender binary is killing us all. I hope you don't outlive the planet."
对不起 I'm sorry.
对不起 我知道我一直很… I'm sorry. I know I've been, like...
思想很狭隘 这很糟糕 ...like, narrow-minded about some stuff, and that's fucked-up.
所以我向你道歉 So, I'm sorry.
我真心觉得你是… And I genuinely think you're, like...
最真实的…最善良的人 the realest, like... good person vibes.
我不会因和你一起而感到尴尬 And I'm not embarrassed to be seen with you.
我还以为你会因我而感到尴尬 I thought you were embarrassed to be seen with me.
噢 确实会 Oh, I am.
没想到这是个如此讲究的运动 Didn't realize it was such a precise sport.
所以说姿势很重要 知道吗？ 为什么我会觉得酸痛？ -This is why I say that the form is important, all right? -And I'm sore. Why am I sore?
因为你的姿势不对 'Cause you're not... You don't have the right form.
嗨 嗨 小南瓜 - Hi. -Hi, pumpkin.
今天过得怎么样？ How was your day?
还不错 It was fine.
你呢？ How was yours?
挺好的 Very good.
很好 Good.
如果我们不是同一个人 Okay, if we weren't the same person
你在派对上遇到我 你会喜欢我吗？ and you just met me at a party, do you think you'd even like me?
你知道吗 Okay. You want to know
变老的好处之一是什么？ what's one of the best things about getting older?
什么？ What?
不再那么在意别人是否喜欢你 You stop worrying so much about if other people like you.
嗯 这确实很棒 - Mm. - It's kinda great.
我觉得… I feel like...
我一直都很混蛋 feel like I've been kind of an asshole.
你还只是个18岁的孩子 Ah, you're just 18.
说实话 在那个年纪谁都是混蛋 Honestly, everyone's kind of an asshole at that age.
为什么？ Why?
你还好吗？ Are you okay?
埃利奥特？你在吗？ Elliott? Hello?
我只是觉得 I just feel like everything
一切都不再像以前那样有意义了 -that used to make sense doesn't anymore. -
是啊 就连切尔西 - Yeah. - Like, even Chelsea.
她一直是我的梦中情人 Like, she's... she's literally been my dream girl for so long.
你知道有多久了 是啊 我知道 - Like, you know how long. - Yeah, I know.
她很性感 性生活也很棒 - And she's so hot and the sex is so amazing. -
是啊 可我好困惑 为什么我提不起兴趣？ - Yeah. - I'm-I'm so confused. Like, why aren't I more into this?
这不会是最后一次 Well, this isn't gonna be the last time
你得到想要的东西 却发现那不是你真正想要的 you get exactly what you want and then realize it isn't what you wanted.
那怎么知道自己想要什么？ How do you ever know what you want, then?
当你真正爱上一个人 怎么知道那是真的？ Like, when you actually fall in love, how do you know that it's real?
你不会知道 Uh... you don't.
我感觉就是一切都很对 I feel like it's just, like, everything feels right,
即使很艰难时也是 如果我说错了请纠正我 even when it's really hard-- correct me if I'm wrong.
不 你说错了 大错特错 Uh, yeah, you're wrong. You're very wrong.
抱歉 这很难解释 Sorry. It's just hard to explain.
试试看！给我点提示！ Try! Give me something!
好吧 天啊！我是说 好吧 Okay. God! I mean, okay.
爱…健康的爱… Love... like, healthy love...
我想就像是… I guess it's like...
既安全又自由 ...safety and freedom all at once?
真妙 太妙了 Sick. Sick.
安全和自由 好 Safety and freedom. Okay.
我知道这对你来说不够浪漫 但确实如此 Okay, look, I know it doesn't sound romantic to you, but it is.
相信我 天啊 Trust me. God.
哇 那真是令人印象深刻 Wow. That's-that's pretty impressive.
你看到猴子了吗？ Did you see any monkeys?
对你弟弟宽容点 Give your little brother a break.
早上好 埃利奥特 Oh, good morning, Elliott.
见过查德吗？ Have you met Chad?
呃… 他今年夏天在这里工作 -Um... - He's working here this summer.
他今早很好心地来帮你爸修理拖拉机 He was kind enough to come and help Dad with the tractor this morning.
来 坐下吧 趁煎饼还热赶快吃 Come on, sit down. Have some pancakes before they get cold.
喂 能把那个递给我吗？ Here, yeah. Could you pass me that?
好 Yeah.
嘿 Sup?
你刚才在说你本科毕业后的计划 So, uh, you were telling us about your plans after undergrad.
对 呃… Oh, yeah. Um...
我本来想学工程 Yeah, well, I originally wanted to get into engineering,
但现在更倾向于生物技术 but now I think I'm leaning more towards biotechnology.
嗯 然后 -Hmm. -And, um,
希望能读制药科学硕士 hopefully getting my master's in pharmaceutical science,
专注于经费不足的癌症药物研究之类的 uh, to focus on, like, underfunded cancer drug research and stuff.
太棒了 是啊 - That's very cool. -Yeah.
简直是天使降临 -A literal angel in our presence. -
如果你想当药剂师 If you want to be a drug doctor,
为什么要在蔓越莓农场度过夏天？ why are you spending your summer on a cranberry farm?
为了钱和名声呗 Ah, for the money and the fame.
他是查茨沃斯家的人 埃利奥特 He's a Chatsworth, Elliott.
这片地区最早的蔓越莓农民之一 One of the original cranberry farmers in the area.
拥有隔壁两条线的地方 Owned the place two lines down.
他爷爷和你爷爷是好朋友 His grandfather was close friends with your grandfather.
你们算是血亲了 You two are-are practically blood.
我们…有亲戚关系？ -Are we... related? -
你和奶奶住在一起真好 Well, I think it's wonderful that you're staying with your grandmother.
她一定很高兴 She must be thrilled.
是啊 我从没见过爷爷 或者 Yeah, I-I never, um, met my grandfather or, um,
看过农场被卖之前的样子 uh, even got to see the farm before it got sold or anything,
因为他在我出生前就去世了 但是…嗯 -'cause he died before I was born, but-Hmm.
是啊 一切都挺好的 Yeah, it's been, it's been really nice.
我只是想…了解我的根 I think I just wanted to... get in touch with my roots,
这话听起来很老套吧 if that isn't the cheesiest thing you've ever heard.
不会 一点也不老套 -No. It's not cheesy. -
这很棒 That's wonderful.
嗯 确实不老套 是啊 -Mm. - No. I think that's nice. - No.
麦克斯 我们该去打高尔夫了 We're late for our tee time, Max.
噢 呃… Oh, uh...
查德 要不要跟我们去打高尔夫？ Chad, do you want to come golfing with us?
你想让查德一起去？ You want Chad to come?
你不必去 真的…我 如果… -You don't have to. You really-I, if...
如果可以的话 我很乐意 I would love to, if that's...
好啊 太好了 我去给你们拿咖啡带走 Okay, great. Let me get you some coffees to go.
哦！ - Oh! -
伙计 怎么了？ Dude, what?
你太厉害了 -You're insane. -
你是真正的职业选手 You're the real deal.
你是职业高尔夫球手 得了吧 -You're a professional golfer. Okay. - Come on.
你应该早告诉我 You should have told me.
我要出丑了 I'm about to embarrass myself.
别这么说 你肯定比自己想的要强 Oh, come on. I'm sure you're better than you think you are.
不是 Nope.
艾略特 艾略特说你要接管农场 Elliott, uh, Elliott said you were gonna take over the farm, man.
你应该去打高尔夫 -You should just be a golfer. -
是啊 我爸妈要卖掉农场 所以… Yeah, I mean, my mom and dad are selling the farm, so...
现在这可能是我唯一的选择 -might be my only option now. -
什么？ What?
谁说爸妈要卖农场？ Who told you Mom and Dad are selling the farm?
爸妈说的 Uh, Mom and Dad.
什么？ What?
搞什么鬼？ Dude, what the fuck?
你到底在说什么？ Actually, what are you talking about?
什么？他们不可能告诉你不告诉我 What? Like they would tell you and not me.
他们觉得你不会在意 反正你也不打算接手 They thought you wouldn't care 'cause you're not taking it over anyway.
什么？你整天说要离开 -What? -All you do is talk about leaving.
等等 等等 等等 等等 等等 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
爸妈不会卖农场的 Mom and Dad are not selling the farm.
我们去跟他们说"这太操蛋了 你们不能卖" We'll go to them and be, like, "This is fucked, you can't sell it,"
我试过了 没用 -and they won't sell it. -I already tried that. It didn't work.
妈的 真的？ Fuck, really?
麦克斯！ Max!
你为什么表现得好像这不是大事？ Why are you acting like this isn't a big deal?
你为什么不生气？ 我很生气 -Why are you not upset? -I am upset.
你看起来一点都不生气 因为我知道一段时间了 -You don't look upset at all. -Well, I've known for a while.
你知道一段时间了？ You've known for a while?
所以我的气已经过去了 So, I'm old upset.
过去的气和新的气不一样 Old upset is different than new upset.
为什么我被蒙在鼓里？ How have I been so left out of this?
是你自己不参与 艾略特 You kind of leave yourself out, Elliott.
麦克斯！ Max!
爸！ Dad!
爸！你要卖农场？！ Dad! You're selling the farm?!
这太疯狂了 This is insane.
这是我们的命脉 我们的根基 This? This is our lifeblood. This is our roots.
我们的血汗 我们的历史 我们的生活 Our-our blood, sweat and tears, our history, our literal life.
我很抱歉 艾略特 I'm really sorry, Elliott.
我真以为你不会在意 I honestly didn't think you'd care.
是因为我不接手才卖的吗？ Are you selling it because I'm not taking it over?
不 原因有很多 跟你无关 No, there are lots of reasons, none of which have to do with you.
我很抱歉 艾略特 I'm really sorry, Elliott.
已经在进行中了 It's already in progress.
有个很好的报价 我们无法拒绝 We got a really good offer we couldn't turn down.
秋收后就要交接了 We'll pass it over after the fall harvest.
你从来都不打算告诉我？ And you were just never going to mention it?
当然要告诉你 我们试过几次 Of course we were. We tried a few times.
很难找到你 孩子 Hard to peg you down, kiddo.
还以为你会高兴 Thought you'd be happy about it.
你整天说要离开这里 All you talk about is leaving this place.
天啊！我以为农场永远都在！ My God! I assumed it would always be here!
你知道人们都说 You know what they say:
假设都是骗人的 大部分假设都是错的 Assumptions are made. Most assumptions are wrong.
是这样说的吗 爸？ Is that what they say, Dad?
你怎么不把这句话绣在手巾上？！ Why don't you put it on a hand towel, then?!
你在哪？为什么不回我？ Where are you? Why are you not answering?
我给你发了50条该死的信息 I've sent you, like, 50 fucking messages.
麦克斯跟我说了农场的事 Max told me about the farm.
有什么办法能阻止这事吗？ Is there anything I can do, like... to stop it?
我只剩一周时间了 I only have a week left here.
请给我回电话 好吗？ Just please call me, okay?
你现在有空吗？ -Are you doing anything right now? -
要帮我卖船吗？ You want to help me sell my boat?
是啊 我听说一些传言 Yeah, I had heard some rumors, like,
关于区域变更影响水库塘之类的 about zoning changes and it was affecting the reservoir ponds and...
大概是这样 我...我不知道 Something like that, and I... I don't know.
我不知道这是确定的事 但是... I didn't know it was a for-sure thing, but...
该死 Fuck.
连暑期工都比我早知道 So even the summer boy workers knew about it before me.
什么？暑期工？ Whoa! Summer boy workers?
我本来不介意离开 I was fine leaving.
我真的很期待离开 但是... I was really excited to leave, but...
我一直以为这里会在 等我回来 I just always thought it was going to be here to come back to.
现在感觉完全不一样了 So, it feels really different now.
因为当我离开 就是永别了 'Cause when I leave, I'm saying goodbye forever.
我讨厌告别 And I hate goodbyes.
我多希望时间能停一停 I just really wish that time would just stop for a second
让我再多享受一会儿 so I could enjoy it for a little bit longer.
抱歉 我不该跟你倾诉这些 Sorry. I shouldn't be venting all this at you,
把这些都扔给你 -like, throwing it at you. -What?
不 伙计 我...我真的懂 Dude, no, I... I actually, uh, I get it.
你还记得最后一次和朋友出去玩的时候吗 Do you remember the last time you went out with friends as a kid
整天都在玩角色扮演 and just played pretend the whole day?
我记得我经常这样玩 I remember doing that a lot.
还记得最后一次玩耍是什么时候吗 Yeah? Do you remember the very, very last time you ever did it?
真让人伤感 Isn't that sad?
想想看 那时候 You know, to think that there was a time
你还和朋友们骑着单车到处跑 when you were out biking around with your friends,
假装被僵尸追赶 pretending you were getting chased by zombies,
浑身又脏又汗 玩得不亦乐乎 然后… you were just all dirty and sweaty and having the best time and then...
…回到家 把车停在车库里 然后睡觉 ...you went home and parked your bike in the garage and went to bed,
那时不知道 这竟是最后一次 not realizing that that was the last time you were ever going to get to do that.
可是 不说再见的另一面是 But then, the thing about not saying goodbye is that you also miss
你也错过了品味那最后一次的机会 savoring when it's gonna be, like, the last time you get to do that thing.
我也说不清 I don't know, I, I...
就是… ...sort of...
说不通 It doesn't make sense.
太深奥了 查德 -It was deep as hell, Chad. -
是啊 Yeah.
我上的是诗歌大学 I went to Poetry University.
主修深奥学 Majored in deepness.
天啊 操 - Oh, my God! Fuck. -Oh!
抱歉 Sorry.
没事 我… No, you're good. I...
呃… -Um... -Um...
抱歉… Sorry, uh...
不 就是…对 No, it's... Yeah, I...
我得走了 我约了牙医 I have to go. I have a dentist appointment.
你约了牙医？ 对 -You... you have a dentist appointment? -Yeah.
我的牙…牙齿出问题了 所以 I, my tooth... My tooth is... fucked-up, so I have to,
我得走了 你能不能就在这个 I have to go, but can you just get the, um...
码头 把船开回去就行 At this, this dock, can you just take it the rest of the way?
我是说 开回我家就行 - I-I mean- Just back to my house is fine.
我真得走了 好 -Just, I just have to go. -Okay.
你有船驾照吗 Do you have your boating license?
没有 好 - No. -Okay.
操 Fuck.
就剩几根茎和碎屑了 I mean, there's only a few stems and broken bits left.
够我一个人吃的吧 That should be enough for just me, right?
当然 好 -Yeah, sure. -Okay.
等等 你怎么了 Wait, yo. What's going on with you?
你最近行踪不定 You've been MIA as fuck lately,
今天周三 大白天的 and then you show up here manic as hell on a Wednesday
你突然跑来要蘑菇 还神经兮兮的 during the random-ass part of the day asking for-for shroomies.
我太忙了 前所未有的忙 I've been so busy. The busiest I've ever been.
是吗 不是你想的那样 -Right. -It's like-- it's not like that.
你干嘛这样看我 我很好 Why are you looking at me like that? I'm fine.
是因为农场的事吗 Is this about the farm?
是很多事情 It's about so many things.
但相信我 太复杂了 But just trust me when I say it's so complicated.
好吗 好 Okay? Okay.
我可不能让你一个人去树林里 I mean, I'm not just gonna let you go alone in the woods.
我想…这些量应该够了 I mean, uh... Oh, it's... I think that's a good amount.
美味 Delicious.
操 Fuck me.
我嗨了吗 Do you think I'm high yet?
没 No.
好吧 我又吃了蘑菇 Okay, so I just did the shrooms. Again.
别生气 我只是想… Don't get mad! I'm just trying to...
再次召唤你 因为你一直不接电话 conjure you again because you won't answer your fucking phone
我真的需要和你谈谈 我不知道这怎么运作 and I really need to talk to you and I don't know how this works,
如果你收到 我在莫德岛 so if you get this, I'm on Maude Island.
我磕嗨了 And I'm high.
好吧 我马上就会嗨了 Well, I-I will be high.
天啊 Oh, my God.
罗？ Ro?
这一点都不好笑 Dude, this isn't funny.
罗？ Ro?
你搞什么 Dude, what the fuck?
嘿 Hey.
你怎么在这 What are you doing here?
罗发短信说你想跟我谈谈 Ro texted me and said you wanted to talk to me about something.
什么 What?
他们刚走 They just left.
什么鬼 What the fuck?
你想跟我说什么 What did you want to talk to me about?
罗说你想让我了解你的世界 Ro said something about you wanting to let me inside of your world.
到底怎么回事 What the fuck is going on?
我想我是你的那个女孩 艾略特 I think I'm your one less lonely girl, Elliott.
你怎么知道我九岁时的比伯幻想 How did you know about my Bieber fantasy as a nine-year-old?
我知道当观众里的女孩们尖叫着 I know that while all the other girls screaming in the crowd
想成为那个女孩时 wanted to be the one less lonely girl,
你想成为比伯 送出玫瑰 you wanted to be Bieber handing out those roses.
现在是你的机会 Now's your chance.
好 我们走 All right, let's go.
什么鬼 What the fuck?
这他妈什么鬼 What in the fuck?!
你是谁 Who are you?
我在改变 在成长 I'm changing, I'm growing.
你是的 我在学习 -You are! -I'm learning.
想做什么就做 像鸟儿一样飞翔 Do what you want to do and fly like a bird.
哇 Wow.
我再也不想跟你谈这个了 I actually don't ever want to talk to you about this ever again.
为什么 我从这谈话中得到我想要的了 -Why? -I got what I needed from this conversation.
以后都不会再谈了 Moving forward, there's nothing... We're not talking about it anymore.
好吧 Okay.
天啊 贾斯汀·比伯 Oh, God. Justin fucking Bieber.
我想要点黄油 I could use some butter.
可能还要点盐 -Maybe some, um, salt. -
好 Okay.
我有话要说 I have a confession.
很小的事 很小的事 好吗 Low-key. A low-key confession, okay?
我对一个人… I have, like...
有一些奇怪的感觉 ...weird feelings for someone.
好 Okay.
但是… But...
糟糕的是…呃… the fucked-up part is it's, um...
是个男人 It's a guy.
天啊 Oh, shit.
你喜欢上了一个男人 You like a guy?
哇 Wow.
现在一切都说得通了 This all makes so much sense now.
-我是双性恋吗？ -天啊 -Am I bi? -Oh, shit.
这他妈到底是什么意思？ What does this actually fucking mean?
我... I...
我是说 如果你喜欢他的话-- I-I mean, shit, if you like him and--
我一直都很确定自己只喜欢女人 I've just always been so sure that I was only into women.
从没想过其他可能 Like, it's never been even a thought for me.
我不知道 我一直都... I don't know. Like, I've just always...
我一直都只喜欢女人 I've just always been into women.
但是和他在一起的时候... But I'm just, when I'm with him...
天啊 Like, dude.
-操 -是啊 这很操蛋 -Fuck. -No, it's fucked. It is actually fucked.
喜欢男人并不会让你不酷 Just 'cause you like a man doesn't make you any less queer.
我也不会因为你是直男就看轻你 I don't think any less of you for being straight.
不 抱歉 No, sorry.
-直男？- -Straight? -
这是你对我说过最过分的话 That's the fucking worst thing you've ever called me in my life.
你自己说过关于标签这回事 Like, you said it yourself about-about labels and shit,
觉得有用就用 and if they feel useful, then use them.
觉得没用就别用 And if they stop feeling useful, then stop using them.
-嗯 -这是你说的 -Hmm. -You told me that.
听从自己 听从内心 听从直觉 Listen to yourself. Listen to your heart. Your motherfucking gut.
听从直觉 Listen to your gut.
但我也得听从过来人的建议 But I've also gotta listen to my old ass.
你现在喜欢屁股了？ You like asses now or something?
-是啊 -我也是 -Yeah. -Same.
我一直想跟你谈... I've been wanting to talk...
我一直想跟你谈这件事 I've been wanting to talk to you about this for a while.
-我想见见他 -别说了 -I, like, want to meet him. -Shut up.
他帅吗？ Is he cute?
哦！ Oh!
-你喜欢吗？ -斯宾塞！ - Do you love it? -Spencer!
我还有三面墙要装修才能搬进来 I still have three walls to finish before I move in.
你就不能等我走了再说吗？ Could you not have waited till I left?
我以为你已经走了 I actually thought you left.
我今晚不能让她盯着我睡觉 I'm not sleeping in that bed tonight with her staring at me.
姐妹 这样不行 Girl, this is not okay.
能帮我挂上去吗？我要看看平衡感 Could you put this up there? I need to see the balance.
放哪儿？ Where?
就那儿 Right there.
-这里？ -不是 那边 -Here? -No, uh, over there.
往上 往下 Uh, up. Uh, down.
-往左一点 -老天啊 -Uh, little to the left. -Oh, my God.
真不敢相信你几天后就要走了 Ugh. Can't believe you leave in a few days.
你兴奋吗？ You excited?
昨晚我想起你 I was thinking about you last night.
想起你两岁的时候... And about how, when you were two...
你整晚都睡不安稳 and you still hadn't slept through the night. Ugh.
你睡眠质量太差了 Oh, God, you were such a terrible sleeper.
我要抱着你摇好久 I had to rock you for ages,
你要求还特别多 and you were so specific in what you wanted.
我要唱《一闪一闪亮晶晶》 I had to sing "Twinkle, Twinkle."
你必须要有毯子 And you needed your blanket.
两只手各拿一个奶嘴 还要喝奶瓶 And you had to have two pacis, one in each hand, and a bottle.
-我怎么这么难伺候？ -我也不知道！ -Why was I so demanding? -I don't know!
-一贯作风- -It tracks. -
我记得有一天晚上 And I remember one night,
我可能唱了四十五分钟的《一闪一闪亮晶晶》 I think I must have been singing "Twinkle, Twinkle" for about 45 minutes.
我嗓子都干了 腿也酸了 And my throat was so dry and my legs were all cramped
我想："天啊 我一秒都坚持不下去了" and I thought, "Oh, Lord. I just can't do this for another second."
你应该把我扔到婴儿床上让我自己适应 You should have thrown me in my crib and told me to get over myself.
是啊 I know.
后来你怎么做的？ So, what did you do?
我继续抱着你摇 I kept rocking you.
妈妈！你应该照顾好自己！ Mom! Self-care!
-我知道- -I know. -
但不久之后的一天晚上... But I remember one night, shortly after that...
...你转过身对我说："要床" ...you turned to me and you just said, "Crib."
说得很干脆 All matter-of-fact.
于是我把你放下 And so, I put you down
你看着我 笑了 and you looked at me and you smiled.
然后翻个身就睡着了 And then you rolled over and you fell asleep.
就这么简单 Just like that.
我为你感到骄傲... And I was so proud of you...
...因为你不再需要我哄你睡觉了 ...'cause you didn't need me to get you to sleep anymore.
但那一刻... But, at that moment...
...我也意识到我再也不能抱着你摇了 ...I also realized that I wasn't going to get to rock you anymore.
我现在的感觉也是这样 And I guess that's how I feel now.
为你感到骄傲... Really proud of you...
...但也有点难过 ...but also a little bit sad.
我会想你的 I'm gonna miss you.
-非常想你 -噢 -So much. -Aw.
我还是需要你 我简直是个白痴 And I still need you. Like, I'm literally an idiot.
-什么都不懂 -不是的 -I don't know anything, so-No.
你不是白痴 You're not an idiot.
嘘 嘘 Shh. Shh.
-我太期待见他了 -天啊 - I'm so excited to meet him. - Whoa.
-我怎么出汗了？ -你怎么这么紧张？ -Why am I sweating? -Why are you so nervous?
你不是见一个就带一个来见我们 You introduce us to every girl you're banging
-用不了30秒吗？ -我们没有-- -within, what, like 30 seconds? -We're not--
-没错 -你们没在一起？ -That's true. -Oh, you're not banging?
嘿 Hey.
这是我最好的朋友 露西和罗 Um, these are my best friends. This is Ruthie, and this is Ro.
-嗨 -嗨 -罗 -Hi. - Hey. -Ro.
-很高兴见到你 -我也是 - Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you.
真不敢相信居然有人想买这艘船 I cannot believe someone actually wants to purchase this boat.
是啊！我刚给它想了个完美的名字 I know! Right when I came up with the perfect name for it, too.
准备好了吗？ Ready?
垃圾船 Piece of Ship.
哦哦 不行吗 - Womp-womp. - No? -
就想出这么个名字？好吧 -That's the best you could come up with? -Okay.
我还有个选项叫"马达？不熟" My alternative was Motor? I Hardly Know Her.
这个好 这个妙 Right there! Golden. Much better.
还有"醉船" Or I had, I had Ship-Faced.
"钓鱼高手" Master Baiter.
钓鱼高手 经典 -Master Baiter. That's classic. -Um...
海上花花公子 你怎么能想出这么多名字 -Playbouy. -Play... Yo, how-how does she have so many names?
海上情话 我懂了 - That's What Sea Said. -I see why it works.
海上情话也不错 That's What Sea Said is good, too, yeah. There...
选择太多了 -There's so many options. -
等等 Wait, did...
你打扫过了？ Did you clean her?
是啊 稍微打扫了一下 Uh, yeah, you know, just a little bit.
看起来太棒了 This looks amazing.
锈迹全都没了 All the rust is literally gone.
你怎么做到的 How did you do that?
听着播客 用点肥皂 You know, just popped in a podcast, little bit of soap.
刮了四五个小时吧 Four to six hours of scraping.
没什么 我乐在其中 It was no-- it was nothing. I was, I was chillin'.
要不要最后再划一次 You want to take her out for one last spin?
不了 我们还有事 We're, no-- we're actually, we're late for something.
得走了 We gotta head out.
四个人一起坐肯定会沉的 -If there was, like, four of us on this boat, we would all sink. -Yeah, right?
对 我们得走了 Like, we gotta go, yeah, but, bro.
太明显了 Way to make it obvious.
认识你们很高兴 It was good to meet you guys.
再见 玩得开心 - Bye. -Have fun.
再见 注意安全 - Bye, guys. -You guys... be so safe, okay? -Be safe!
认识你们很高兴 - Mm-hmm. -Nice to meet you both. - Nice to meet you.
别摇太厉害了 Don't rock the boat too much.
别理他 别理他 -Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. -Sorry.
你在干什么 What are you doing?
哇 Whoa!
那边还好吗 How's it chillin' over there?
我很好 这边挺舒服的 I'm chillin'... chillin' good over here.
哦 Oh!
等等 等等 Wait, wait, wait, wait.
你笑什么 No, why are you laughing?
搞什么 我该怎么办 What the fuck? What do I do?
要回去拿吗 -Do we go back and get it? -You know what?
降价到350吧 -We cut the price to 350. -
马达现在在马斯科卡湖底了 Motor's at the bottom of Lake Muskoka now.
该死 Fuck!
别担心 别担心 Don't worry, don't worry, don't worry.
我爸店里有很多旧马达 My dad's got, like, a whole stack of old motors in his shop.
没事的 -It's fine. -
糟了 Shit.
快跑 快跑 - Go, go, go, go! -Oh, my God.
怎么回事 雨这么冷 -What the hell? Why is the rain so cold? -It's so fucking cold.
真他妈冷 要件卫衣吗 -It's so fucking cold. Hoodie? -What?
哇 我准备充分 -Wow. -I know. I come prepared.
转过去 Turn around.
别看 Don't look.
我没看 I'm not looking.
谢谢你的卫衣 Thanks for the sweater.
不客气 Anytime.
很暖和 It's warm.
那就好 Good.
你觉得来这里找到你想要的了吗 Do you feel like you found what you were looking for by coming here?
什么意思 What do you mean?
你之前说过 You mentioned something about...
想要寻根问祖 like, wanting to get in touch with your roots.
比如了解蔓越莓种植什么的 Like learning about cranberry farming and stuff, so I just, I don't know.
我想知道你觉得达到目的了吗 I wanted to know if you felt like you did that.
是的 确实 Yeah, actually.
嗯 Um...
我家人一直在说 My whole life, my family's been telling me,
我多像我祖父 you know, how much I remind them of my grandfather.
所以我想 So I-I, I think...
至少来这里 我能了解他 ...at least coming here, I-I got to know him or...
或者说更理解他一点 understand him a little bit better.
挺好的 Which is cool.
确实很好 It's very cool.
你平时住哪 Where do you normally live?
多伦多 什么 -Toronto. -What?!
我下周就去多大读书 -Yeah. -I'm going to U of T in, like, a week.
我在多大读书 I go to U of T.
等等 什么 Wait, what?!
我们怎么从没聊过这个 How have we never fucking talked about this?
我也不知道 -I don't know, man. -
冷吗 Cold?
我是同性恋 I'm gay.
挺好 Cool.
我以为我是同性恋 I thought I was gay.
你以为你是同性恋 You thought you were gay?
对 Yeah.
直到我遇见 Till I met...
一个叫加里的人 ...this person named Gary.
加里 加里 -Gary. -Gary.
加里让我意识到 And Gary made me realize that, um...
我可能是双性恋 或泛性恋 ...I don't know, I'm bi or maybe pan.
我还在摸索 I've, like, yet to figure that out.
就是这样 But yeah.
好吧 Okay.
然后我朋友 And then my friend...
天啊 我朋友就说 Oh, my God. And then my friend was like,
别去找他 加里不是好人 "Ah, don't do it. Gary's bad news."
不是好人 Whoa. Bad news?
对 不是好人 Mm-hmm. Bad news.
加里做了什么 What, what did Gary do?
她没说具体原因 但是 Well, she wouldn't tell me exactly what Gary did, but...
我就是 不该和他有牵扯 I just... it-- yeah, it was-- I just was not supposed to go there.
和他 With him.
嗯 Hmm.
你这朋友很神秘啊 This friend of yours sounds rather elusive.
是啊 她就爱扫兴 但是 Oh, yeah. She's a real fucking buzzkill, but...
我得听她的 所以 I'm supposed to listen to her, so...
嗯 Hmm.
你内心告诉你该怎么做 What does your gut tell you to do?
关于加里 Re: Gary.
我内心 My gut?
我内心 My gut is, um...
很想知道加里是什么样的人 ...pretty interested in what Gary's all about.
原来如此 -I see. -Mm.
我喜欢看着你的脸 I like looking at your face.
我想吻你 I want to kiss you.
别再重复我说的话 Stop copying everything I say.
抱歉 你知道我没有大脑 Sorry, you know I don't have a brain.
别让我对此感到不安 -Don't make me insecure about it. -
抱歉 我不擅长这个 Sorry, I'm bad at this, so...
我从来没有… I've never had...
跟人亲密过 dick sex before.
你想要… Do you want to have...
亲密接触吗 dick sex?
也许吧 Maybe.
我想邀你进来 但是… I'd invite you in, but...
我不想让父母知道我跟暑期工搞在一起 I don't really want my parents to know I hooked up with a summer boy worker.
真是尴尬啊 对我来说不太好 -How embarrassing for you. -It's not good for me.
待会见？ See you later?
嗯 Mm-hmm.
你该走了 好吧 -Okay, you need to go. -Okay.
不想让他们看见你 我这就走 -I don't want them to see you. -I'm going, I'm going.
别盯着我的屁股看 -Stop staring at my butt! -
嘿 天啊 -Psst! -Oh, my God.
怎么了 搞什么 -What was that? -What the fuck?
你在这干什么 What the fuck are you doing here?
你在亲查德吗 没有 -Were you kissing Chad? -No.
没有吗 没有 -No? -No.
没有吗 没有 有一点 -No? -No. A little.
这是什么情况 What the fuck is that?
你去哪了 我以为你死了 Dude, where the fuck have you been? I thought you fucking died.
我才离开四天好吗 Dude, I was gone for four days, okay?
去参加Hubbya静修 Four days on my Hubbya retreat.
回来发现你给我发了200条消息 I get back, I have 200 messages from you.
什么是Hubbya What the fuck is Hubbya?
就是超觉冥想 其实更好 It's, uh, transcendental meditation, but better, actually.
佩内洛普·迪斯克发明的 Penelope Disick invented it.
我真的很担心你 Oh, fuck, I was so worried about you.
为了来这 我吃了三磅女友朋友的大麻 I had to eat, like, three pounds of my girlfriend's friend's weed to get here.
天啊 你还好吗 -Oh, fuck. -Are you okay?
那是什么 为什么 为什么 What is that? Why? Why?
现在还不是蜻蜓季节 It's not even dragonfly season yet.
根本没有什么蜻蜓 There are no dragonflies, dude.
我说过 我们受不了药物 Dude, I told you, we don't tolerate drugs well.
我也不知道怎么说 天啊 -I don't know what to tell you. -Oh, my God.
我嗨过头了 需要喝点水 I'm really high. I need water or something.
你不能就这样消失 You can't just disappear like that.
该告诉我你要去什么呼呼雅静修 You should have told me you were going on some hoobie retreat.
是Hubbya 我知道农场的事了 -Hubbya. -I found out about the farm.
还有查德的那些事 什么 -And then all the Chad stuff happened. -What?
查德的什么事 What Chad stuff?
什么 什么 我… -What? What? -I, uh...
这就是我一直想跟你说的 That's what I've been trying to, like, talk to you about.
我真的一直在努力 嗯 -I've been trying, okay? Really hard. -Uh-huh.
我现在明白了 其他建议都很好 And I get it now. Like, all the other advice was so good.
我总是认为我们的生活和… Like, I was taking so much of our life and...
我们的家庭都是理所当然的 our family, like, for granted.
现在我看清了 Yeah, I see that now, okay?
好吧 不用谢 嗯 -Okay, well, you're welcome. -Mm-hmm.
但是我… But I...
我太害怕告诉你… I was just too scared to tell you...
我爱上了查德 when I started falling in love with Chad.
我知道 对不起 对不起 I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
我不想让你失望或者… I didn't want to let you down or...
搞砸我们的生活 但是… like, mess up our life or something, but...
说出来吧 Just say it.
我们做爱了 - We had sex. -
我知道 对不起 I know. I'm sorry.
我知道你告诉我不要这样 I know you told me not to.
但是… But...
听我说 Dude.
他的一切… Everything about him...
感觉都如此完美 ...like, feels so right.
对不起 我尽力找他的缺点了 I'm sorry, but I've tried so hard to find one bad thing about him,
但真的找不到 and I literally can't.
我不明白为什么不能跟他在一起 Dude, I don't understand why we wouldn't want to be with him.
告诉我他做了什么 I just need you to tell me what he did.
直说吧 我没法远离他 Like, just fucking lay it out 'cause I'm not gonna be able to stay away from him.
我们的感情太真实了 Like, the connection is too real.
快告诉我他做了什么 So, just fucking tell me what he did.
不 他做了什么 -No. -What did he do?
告诉我他到底干了什么 我不能说 -Tell me what he does. -I can't.
我发誓…你告诉我 I swear to God... Tell me.
不会那么糟糕的 It literally cannot be that bad.
他会死 He died.
这就是他会做的事 That's what he did.
查德会死 Chad dies.
而且是在你深深爱上他之后 And he dies after you have fallen so madly in love with him
爱到失去理智 明白吗 that you can't see straight, okay?
爱到再也无法爱上别人 After you can't imagine loving anybody else ever again.
不 你救不了他 And no, you can't save him.
我知道你想说什么 但你救不了他 I know that's what you're gonna say, but no, you can't save him.
你什么都做不了 There's nothing you can do.
你找不到查德的缺点 And-and you can't find anything bad about Chad
是因为他根本没有缺点 明白吗 because there isn't anything bad about Chad, okay?
艾略特 这太难了 Elliott, it is so hard, okay?
真的太难了 我不想让你承受这种痛苦 It is so, so hard, and I do not want you to have to feel that shit.
不 No.
不？ No?
不 我要爱上查德 No, I'm gonna fall in love with Chad.
我要爱他… I'm gonna love him...
用尽全力过好每一天 so hard for however long we have.
是啊 你会这么说是因为年轻无知 Yeah, you're just saying that because you're young and dumb.
但如果不是年轻无知 Okay, but if you weren't young and dumb,
你根本不会有勇气做任何事 you'd never fucking be brave enough to do anything.
如果你知道生活有多糟糕多不公平 If you knew how shitty and unfair life would be,
你就不会踏出家门 you'd never leave your house.
你永远不会真正享受和他人相处 You'd never enjoy spending time with anyone
因为你会一直想着他们终将离去 because you'd just be thinking about the fact that they're gonna die someday.
但年轻无知时 根本不会去想这些 But when you're young and dumb, you don't even think about that.
这才让你真正活着 And that's what lets you actually live.
所以年轻无知也许并非坏事 So maybe being young and dumb isn't such a bad thing.
你有想过这点吗 Have you ever thought about that?
嘿 艾利特 Hey, Elliott.
你掉了这个 You dropped this.
抱歉打扰了 Sorry to interrupt.
你看得见她吗 Can you see her?
看见她 See her?
是的 Yes.
我不该看见吗 -Am I not supposed to? -
好吧 这是… Cool, cool. Um...
这是我叔叔米歇尔 -This is my Uncle Michelle. -Michelle.
嗨 我是查德 Hey. I'm Chad.
很高兴认识你 Nice to meet you.
我也很高兴认识你…查德 Nice to meet you, too... Chad.
从没见过叫米歇尔的叔叔 I've never met an uncle named Michelle.
挺有意思的 That's funny.
我很抱歉要说这个坏消息 So, I hate to be the bearer of bad news,
这个好像被车碾过了 um, I think this got run over by a car.
就是… Like...
我不确定 但不是我干的 I don't know, but it wasn't me.
我不知道怎么回事 -I don't know what happened. Uh... -
我们可以试试用漂白剂什么的洗掉 we can try to get it out with, like, like, bleach or something.
你知道 好好擦洗一下 And, you know, some... some good old scrubbing.
我只是想把它还给你 But I just thought I would get it back to you...
也许可以开创路杀时尚 ...could be a new thing, roadkill chic.
呃… Um...
我待会儿再见你们 I will catch you guys later.
别 别走 呃… No, no, don't, don't leave. Um...
我正要走 你留下吧 I was about to leave, so you stay.
什么 和艾利特待在一起 - What? -Stay with Elliott.
不 你不是要走 是的 我要走 -No, you weren't. -Yes, I was.
不 你不是 No, you weren't.
是的 我要走 Yes, I was.
很高兴认识你…查德 It was really nice to meet you... Chad.
我也很高兴认识你 Yeah, it was good to meet you, too.
她还好吗 Is she okay?
嗯 她会没事的 Yeah, she'll be okay.
你还好吗 Are you okay?
嗯 Yeah.
我想了想 这种情况 I think this is more of a baking soda situation,
更适合用小苏打 now that I'm thinking about it, 'cause I...
因为用漂白剂会把衣服染成橙色 I-I think if we put bleach on it, it would turn it all orange and stuff.
总之 需要用冷水洗 But, I don't know. Either way, it's like a cold-water thing.
我真的很喜欢你 真的…非常喜欢你 I really like you. Like, really... really like you.
我也真的…非常非常喜欢你 I really... I really, really like you, too.
我很感激此刻能和你在一起 I'm really grateful for this moment with you.
我也很感激此刻能和你在一起 I'm very grateful for this moment with you, too.
那你得自己去拿了 Well, you're gonna have to get it yourself.
你想要那个吗 You want one of those things?
嘿 Hey.
呃… Um...
转弯 转弯 Curve, curve!
对不起 我… 我在转 - I'm sorry. I... -I'm curving.
我要往这边走 我希望… - I'm going this way. -...hope...
你没事 you're okay.
呃… Um...
我想给你最后一条消息 I wanted to send you one last message.
进来吧 Come in.
你说得对 艾利特 - You're right, Elliott. -
我该听你的 I should listen to you.
没想到我这年轻人这么有智慧 I never realized how wise my young ass was.
好吧 这话听起来怪怪的 但是… Okay, that sounded weird, but...
我想说的是… What I'm trying to say is...
你说得对 ...you're right.
你不该为我或为未来而活 You shouldn't live your life for me or for the future
也不该执着于过去 那样不是活着 or get stuck in the past, because that is not living.
我很高兴你爱上了查德 I'm so happy you fell in love with Chad.
因为…爱查德是种馈赠 Because... loving Chad is a gift.
被他爱着… And being loved by him...
是世上最美好的事 ...it's the best fucking thing in the world.
所以去他的 就保持这样 So just, fuck it, just keep being the naive,
天真 愚蠢 无暇 聪明… dumb, pore-less, smart...
快乐 自信 勇敢 ...happy, confident, brave,
自我中心又乐观的白痴模样吧 因为… self-centered optimistic idiot that you are because...
这样很完美 it's perfect.
去和查德过你的生活吧 And go live your life with Chad.
或者和查德还有你的三个妻子 Or Chad and your three wives
随你觉得什么适合你 or whatever you decide is right for you.
我也会重新过我的生活 好吗 -And I'll go live mine again, okay? -
我爱你 I love you.
现在 替我向那片湖告别吧 Now, go say goodbye to that lake for me.
记得戴牙套 涂护肤品 谢谢 And wear your retainer and moisturize, please, thank you.
呜！ Whoo!
ed3000 原创翻译出品 译：ed3000 校对：巴萨姆